Resilience is the ability to face adversity, overcome challenges, and grow from the experience. Being resilient doesn’t mean you don’t have difficulties but rather that you’ve developed tools to move through hard times and learn from your experience. Resilience allows people to find meaning in challenging circumstances and foster the strength to face new obstacles as they arise.
You may think of resilient people as being instinctively tough and strong, but resilience isn’t something you are born with. Anyone can practice and build resilience.
Many New Year’s resolutions revolve around becoming stronger and more resilient. While you can’t always control the challenges you experience in life, you can choose how you react. This is where resilience comes into play.
1. Develop a Growth Mindset
Having a growth mindset means seeing life’s challenges as opportunities for learning. It’s the belief that a person’s capabilities aren’t fixed and they can develop new strengths and skills.
Adopting a growth mindset means that when something difficult happens, you don’t retreat or turn away. Instead, you face the situation knowing you will become stronger and learn a helpful lesson that will benefit you when facing similar challenges later in life.
A few ways to cultivate a growth mindset include:
- Learn to embrace your imperfections
- Have realistic expectations of what you can accomplish
- Value and accept constructive criticism
- Embrace the journey of learning through your experiences
- Take risks, even if that means making mistakes
- Reframe the idea of failing to mean learning from your errors
- Give yourself the time and space to work through challenges
2. Practice Self-Care
Self-care is known to increase resilience. You can’t move through difficulties if you aren’t physically, emotionally, and mentally well.
Self-care isn’t just one thing, like taking a bubble bath or reading a book (though those activities might be helpful for many people!). It’s about identifying and making time for the activities that nourish you. This often means setting boundaries to prioritize your needs.
Some common self-care strategies to consider include:
- Write and reflect on thoughts, feelings, and life events
- Eat a nutrient-rich, balanced diet
- Engage in regular physical activity that you enjoy
- Prioritize getting enough sleep
- Practice daily habits to relieve stress, such as meditation, deep breathing, and mindfulness
3. Set Realistic Goals
Setting realistic goals can help break down challenges into smaller, more manageable parts—setting you up for more wins and propelling you forward. You’ll build resilience as you meet your goals more often and learn from those challenges.
For instance, if your goal is to run a 5K and you don’t have a regular running routine, it may not be realistic to expect you’ll be marathon-ready in a week. Instead, you’d want to make a plan to gradually build up your skills as a runner, jogging more and more each day until you’ve built up the endurance to run one mile, then two miles, until you are ready for your 5K.
Here are some tips for setting achievable goals:
- Break up your bigger goals into smaller steps
- Make sure each step toward your goal is realistic and do-able
- Commit to each step and make working toward your goal a daily practice
- Reach out to people who are working toward similar goals for support
- Be patient with yourself if you run into roadblocks or if reaching your goal takes longer than expected
- Celebrate each accomplishment along the way
4. Embrace Change and Flexibility
People who are rigid in their thinking and can’t adapt when things go wrong can have difficulties becoming more resilient. That’s because resilience is dependent on the ability to change course when necessary, embrace imperfection, and learn from the unexpected.
There are several concrete ways to learn to embrace change and become more flexible, such as:
- Understand that change and instability are part of life, and you can control your reaction to uncertain times.
- Try to keep things in perspective in life and see the bigger picture. Know that overreacting to difficult situations does not help you move forward.
- Become more mindful of inflexible or fixed thoughts, such as, “It’s always going to be this way!” or “There’s no way I’m doing that.”
- Try to remain hopeful, even as life throws you curveballs. While difficult circumstances can be unexpected, so can good ones.
5. Build Problem Solving-Skills
Learning how to solve problems effectively is an important step in building resilience. Becoming a more successful problem solver involves developing a toolbox of skills that enable you to tackle problems with strategies that work.
Here are some steps to consider:
- Start by identifying the problem you are trying to solve
- Describe the problem, voicing it out loud or writing it down
- Try to determine the cause of the problem
- Develop several different possible solutions to the problem
- Try one or more of the solutions
- Note the results, and keep experimenting until you find a solution that works
Having the right mindset for solving problems is important. Here are some tips:
- Do your best to stay calm when you face obstacles
- Understand that solving problems isn’t always straightforward, and you may run into issues along the way
- Remind yourself of your problem-solving strategies
- Adapt to changes and practice flexibility
- Reach out for support when needed
6. Try Mindfulness and Meditation
Mindfulness and meditation aren’t just good tools for helping you relax. They can help you stay strong when facing adversity. There are many ways to practice mindfulness and meditation, and there is no one “correct” method. The idea is to weave mindfulness and meditation practices into your daily life in whatever way works for you.
Mindfulness means being aware of your thoughts and feelings and trying to live with more awareness of the present moment. For example, try to concentrate on the present moment while doing everyday tasks like cooking, cleaning, eating, and walking. You can also take time to focus on your breathing or how your emotions feel in your body.
Meditation is about clearing your mind. It can help promote relaxation and mindfulness. There are many ways to meditate, such as:
- Pray
- Take a meditative walk
- Use a guided meditation app
- Do a guided body scan
- Spend time lying still and listening to calming music
- Practice meditative yoga
7. Journal and Reflect
Journaling and reflecting on your life, feelings, and experiences is a powerful way to become more in tune with yourself and build resilience. For instance, a recent study found that journaling was a helpful way for new college students to maintain life satisfaction during a time of transition. Journaling also increased resilience among these students.
You don’t have to be a writer, or even an aspiring writer, to journal. To foster reflection through journaling, you can:
- Write down your thoughts as they come to you first thing in the morning
- Write out a list of worries at night so that you can get them out of your mind
- Keep a daily gratitude list
- Write about what happened to you during the day or during a particular incident in your life, reflecting on what you learned and what lessons you will hold onto for the future.
What Resilience looks like
Resilience isn’t a personality trait or innate skill you’re born with. It’s a practice everyone is capable of learning and honing. However, people who have built up their resilience often share some defining characteristics, many of which you can also develop. Resilient people:
- Are optimistic
- Take a problem-solving approach
- Forgive others more often
- Show a high level of acceptance
- Take responsibility for their actions and needs
- Have a growth mindset
- Accept constructive criticism
- Develop close and trusting relationships with others
- Have been able to recover after hardships or traumas
Resilient individuals also tend to have some adaptive characteristics that make it easier to navigate life’s challenges. These can include high self-confidence and self-esteem, a sense of humor, flexibility, and the ability to remain hopeful despite adversity.
Overcoming Obstacles
Becoming more resilient doesn’t happen overnight. Also, developing resilience doesn’t mean life won’t ever feel difficult or stressful. The key is to learn and adopt strategies that help you move through these experiences and feelings with awareness, grace, and growth.
Resilience needs to be practiced, like a muscle that needs to be exercised and strengthened. You must be intentional in your goal of becoming more resilient.
Psychology experts have highlighted these ways to build more resilience in life:
- Maintain healthy and positive relationships with others
- Accept that life presents obstacles that are beyond your control
- Do your best to live with an optimistic and hopeful future outlook
- Keep the big picture in mind and adopt a perspective that supports your goals
If you are having difficulty moving through hardships despite working on your resilience skills, you can always seek additional help. A licensed therapist can help you navigate life’s challenges, address your emotional and mental well-being, and learn tools to become more resilient.
A Quick Review
Building resilience doesn’t mean you don’t experience strife; it means that you learn from the many obstacles life throws at you. Everyone can become more resilient with practice. Learning skills like adopting a growth mindset, becoming more self-aware and mindful, setting realistic goals, and honing problem-solving tools can help you build resilience.
If you are facing obstacles to building resilience or are concerned for your emotional or mental well-being, you can always talk to a licensed therapist for guidance and support.